My moment of realization was a very private moment – I was alone, sitting in my office and, BONG! Revelation! I understood that deep down in me burnt the fierce desire to be a true giant in history and society. I wanted to be Kiki Freud. I wanted to be Kiki Picasso, Ridiculous! Instead of laughing at myself, however, I had a good cry.

And then there was a further realization – I needed to forgive myself to be just who I am: just quite mediocre Kiki. I will die one day and the world will calmly continue its flow. The world does not need me to be any different than exactly how I am. What a relief! I can drop these heavy weights of believing that I have to fight and continuously struggle to be important.

Often in my nightly dreams I fly. The air hits my feathered body. Maybe, having dropped the weight of self-importance, I can fly during my waking hours also? I must have dropped something, because since this epiphany I manage to live without antidepressants.

The Kiss of Life

Just me
gliding through life
nothing special at all

I will not shake up the world,
but the beauty of the universe
showers upon me anyway